Friday, December 14, 2007

Three Deadly Sins


Some two weeks ago was by folks' restaurant and self-appointed family friend stops by with paper charts and glazed look. Blabbers on and on about having discovered the secret to fantastic wealth. Spreads hand-drawn charts out on the floor and proceeds to give Sister and self the low down. The deal: You pay a token amount and then have to buy something worth 32grand (diamond watch, gold coin etc). Step 2: You get two more people to do the same. "Uhuh, like Amway," says Sister.
The glaze shifts into a fanatical gleam as he leaps to defend his new faith. Says daughters are married and settled abroad yet feels the need for more and more money so that his future generations are taken care of. Like it would even last that long.
What got me is his constant insistence that "God told me to do this.."


Vocal, who sucks mike for the Pausing Men, came by last weekend what with Brit Chick landing up in town after a long while. Hungover the next morning, he's combing the terrace for leftover ganja. None to be found.
Man Friday (we have a new and improved version) is summoned and set to searching as well. With no result. Later Man Friday reveals that his previous employer, also a fan of the bong, would beat him if former did not have ganja ready to roll in the house always!
Most unlike most fans.
Which probably explained Man Friday's petrified personality the first few weeks. Till he realised all we beat is ourselves. Especially nowadays with the scarcity of sex.


Give any regular guy a decent enough camera and he'll always use it like a secondary penis.
"Hey baby, you look really nice in this light.. mind if i take your picture?"
And don't the women just love it. Even the ones who give the cold "No thank you," and walk away. Later with the girlies, it'll be, "Yeah, he even wanted to take my picture!" Thoughtful-finger-on-chin, "You think he's any good though?"
Models are bad enough...stick a camera in front of them. Any camera. Even the one on your phone and watch facial tissue contort like it's running on CGI.
People think lad mag writers get laid all the time....? Naah It's the photographers. All we get is to scroll down with "Oooh... is that a nipple?"

to be continued...