Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Ahhh--sole! gesundheit...

Some things noticed on the trip down, in the train and elsewhere, was how newish parents are always so kicked when they're brat says something clever. "Aah, how sweet!" at stuff like "you don't know what you're talking about"
In five years, the "how sweet" will be "I wish she was never born!"
One item on the train back to Delhi, mater, munna and mater's pa, were one such.
The child would squeal for absolutely no reason. Obviously having learnt that squealing gets him shit. EVERY SINGLE time a knick-knack man walked past, he'd squeal for some random shit for his granda to get him. So he ended up with a toy cellphone, a squawking Pokemon, a black rattling ball that he flung at a passing cop later that night, six plates of samosas that remained half-eaten, cola every few minutes, paper soap, a shoelace, pakoras, milk... the inevitable happened as it does with all these imps and he emptied his constant gorging on his mother's shawl with a smelly liquid spew.
Henceforth, both mater and granda had to hold the damn shawl out the window to dry it. Sick. Pity the fool that sat behind them.

The other was confirmation of a long held theory that ALL Bong men are never completely severed from the umbilical cord. It's also what probaby acts as an instant plug-in to the Discovery Channel. A Bong man will almost never have done something for experience, he'll have read it in a book or more likely seen it on Travel & Living. What is with this insatiable desire to burden others with useless bits of information?
To the contrary, all Punju men, another breed that is permanently connected to their mama's womb, use their cord to get price quotes on the schmansiest doodad, hot wheels or fuck pad around. They needn't necesarily have the requisite moolah to buy said object of desire, but they definitely know how much it costs and what it does.
Hooray for Discovery!

3 Comments:

Blogger The Dude said...

hahahahahaha! oh man you are so right, theres nothing more painful then a family that brings their irritating newborn on a train trip, specially on an overnight run!

In all my travels Ive yet to meet the infant that will travel quietly on a night train and i didnt want to chuck off the bogey!

and youre so fuckin right about the bong and punju males, right on the bloody mark!

Cheers...

4:55 PM  
Blogger Big Wave said...

in this last week:

punju friend, aged 25: yeah, i exchanged the shoes we bought together. they didn't fit at home.
translation (it later emerges): my mom prodded them and prodded them and insisted the cushioning wasn't enough so she took me back to the store and bought me shoes at double the price.

2:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you talking about the smoking bong? i love bongs :(

-dr.spock from weedguru

9:40 AM  

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