Monday, July 24, 2006

Smoke up your ass...

Published in Hindustan Times, Sunday, July 23, Page 10..

Everyone’s got a blog nowadays. The barber who sits left of my house was asking about it. Says it’s much better than email because, “arre bhaiyya, sab kuch ka record rakhta hai.”
Didn’t have the heart to explain the purpose of the sent mail folder to him.
He logs on every evening at the cyber café right around the corner to post 2 lines on it in Bihari English. Then he’ll send an email to his brother in Mumbai telling him to check what he’s written. Well, to each his own.

Really started my own when inspiration hit on a flight back from Goa leading to the first draft of the beginnings of a book. The book is gathering dust on the backburner, but the blog is growing with 90 posts and counting over three-odd months.

Writing is something that comes naturally to me. Like bombing the ceramic throne or checking out women. So when the opportunity to spew nonsense, vitriol and garbled rhetoric at no one in particular comes along, you think I’d say no?
Why are blogs so popular? Well there’s never any shortage of people who think they have truck-loads of ability but actually don’t. It’s the same with writers.
Most desi bloggers love to pile on the prose like they were the illegitimate sons (and daughters) of Arundhati Roy. The bigger the word, the more grand one sounds.
Isn't the Internet supposed to be a medium to reach out to a lot of people? So most can't understand or get mind-numbingly bored at pseudo-intellectual nitpicking. There are others who like to cut-copy-paste other’s views to make them sound very know-it-all.

Sooner or later, if you have a blog, it turns into your alter-ego. An online persona that only others in the blogosphere recognise you by. It gets weird sometimes.
Blogger parties (and for the most part, writer parties) are exercises in semantics where everyone tries to pull a bigger word out of the much-abused dictionary. Mind games are something I leave to the girlfriend, even at parties.
When you get your blog, you have to learn how to posture. Blogging is essentially talking about yourself. And when you have no one to interrupt you or tell you you’re talking shit, the tendency to puff out one’s chest at half-imagined heroics leads to interesting reading.
Especially when the same blogger forgets crucial details a few posts down the line and goes off on a different tangent.

Blogs have been quite instrumental in churning out opinion in our immediate spectrum, especially of late. The Jessica Lal case is the first I remember, though there might have been more before, which gave the kids at home a voice to raise at the powers-that-be.
I've figured the blog to be a fantastic way to get your opinion across as effectively as possible with minimum bloodshed.
Whether it's telling off a colleague (who you know reads your blog), hooking up with a chick (who you know reads your blog) or patting yourself on the back (you definitely read your own blog).

Formerly former boss read bits and pieces and recommended self for a shot at features editor at a local rag. Didn’t take the job but that’s a different matter.
Getting your work noticed through your blog can be tricky though. Especially when posts on the blog detail suspicious behaviour. In this profession, however, it’s good to know it’s the writing that’s appreciated in the end. The hangover’s hardly noticed.


Blogger Rohan said...

Hehe..My driver asked me recently
"bhaia yeh Bhlogh kya hota hai".
me: how the hell does he know the term. "tumne kahan sun liya yeh"
d: aree ka radio pe bol rahe thee
me: does he know what internet is. "accha tumhe pata hai yeh internet kya hota hai"
d: "oh ji woh toh bahut badia cheez hoti hai. usse toh kuch bhi kar sakte hai. apni bitiya ka printout bhi maine wahi se nikala tha"

strange but such simplicity still exists in the world.

btw lovely post. Writing is something which comes naturally to you. Just reminded me of the incident

12:16 AM  
Blogger pushpendra said...

LOL!!!!Just Amazing, the best thing which i found was that i am not the only person who thinks that most of the people prefer to or rather copy paste from other source. Infact,even i have done this kinda of ctrl + C and Crtl +p or CTRL V. Any which ways but i did not understand your post where you have written about one of my all tme favourite Barkha. can you please tell me what exactly was the matter. Over all your posts are good. i know i am too young to comment on your blog , after all you people are showing way to people like me.

Hats Off To yOU Sir.

12:41 AM  

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