Monday, June 19, 2006

Something for the paper...

Better off alone

If you’re successful, single and satisfied with the picture, you’re probably part of a growing breed of people who’ve come to be called quirkyalones.

A quirkyalone is a person who enjoys being single. Although not averse to the idea of a relationship, they would rather stay alone than date for the sake of dating.
The concept began as a personality type but attracted so much attention among a diverse group of people who identified with it (married, single, divorced, or widowed) that it grew to become something more: a brand new, articulated set of ideas about being in single and in relationships expressed through a set of vocabulary: quirkyalone, quirkyslut, and quirkytogether (the quirkyalone way of being in a long-term romantic relationship).

Although quirkyalones enjoy solitude, and sometimes even need and crave it, they are not loners. They typically have a strong network of friends and most place a high premium on friendship. Some have even been known to bring friends on dates!
The phrase was coined by Sasha Cagen, a 30-year-old author, who refers to those seemingly happy and solitary singletons (single or ‘re-singled’) using this new term throughout her book of the same name - Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics.

They are part of a growing population in our society who live full and fun lives without feeling the need for a formal marital relationship. In fact many quirkyalones see no reason to even date for the purpose of sex. Their approach to being with others has more to do with friendship and companionship without the need for a primary relationship. It’s their desire for independence, for any number of reasons, which precludes the necessity for a "significant other" in their lives.

However, even though this new all-inclusive term stands a good chance of catching on, there will always be men and women who will prefer single status to any other kind of coupled relationship. They have been with us always and will continue to be throughout the course of human experience. Whether it's their need to completely invest themselves in a career or a mindset that simply cannot see themselves in a marital relationship, the message to the rest of us is that they should be both understood and accepted.


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