Thursday, June 01, 2006

Cool near-death experiences

The first major accident I remember being involved in was in college.
I was hitching from what was then the Dhaula Kuan roundabout, down the Ridge Road, along with 2 guys from Ramjas and one Stephanian chick.
We got a lift with this typical West Delhi puppy. A Maruti 800 with hiked up rear suspension, siren blaring, air horns and loud motherfucking bhangra at 7.30 in the morning. One of the Ramjas guys got in front, and I was squeezed into the middle of the back seat.
Squeezed because puppy-boy driving had pushed the front seats as far as they would go and my feet were wedged under them.
Anyway, we all get in and he takes off through the forest road like he has to go home and shit.
He zips past the red lights and is just about to reach the Springdales School turn, when there's a loud bang (one of his rear tyres burst).
Immediately the car began spinning in the road, connecting with an Uncleji scooter rider with an ugly metal-hitting-bone sound. The next thing I saw was Uncleji flying past the windscreen and landing awkwardly in the road.
The impact lifts the car and it starts rolling over and over into the Ridge till it hits a tree, about 50m into the forest and stops on one side.
Which is when I realised what laundry feel like in spin cycle.
Dizzy for a bit, I look around there's blood all over the car. The girl's leg is broken, the Ramjas guy in front is holding onto his ribs and bleeding from the mouth, the puppy boy driver isn't moving at all.
I climbed out of the window and cut my little finger on a bit of glass.
The only "injury" I "suffered"
Luckily the cops had been tailing the guy (because he'd been speeding and jumped three lights in a row) so they were running up to the car as I was climbing out and straightened things out.
Uncleji was still prone when I got back to road and thumbed a lift to college.

The other sort of serious accident was on Chottu's Bullet.
We'd been chilling the whole day. I had to go review some new South Indian brunch menu at the rooftop restaurant at the Maurya and took him along as well. One lazy afternoon of beer, appams and korma later, we rode down to PVR to catch Kill Bill2.
Crazy ass movie, prefer part 2 to part 1.
Movie gets over and Jas calls saying she and the Padosan feel like a drink. This was before Chottu and Jas ran around the fire and latter was staying far out in the boondocks.
So we pick up some Monk and are cruising down when shit happens.
We're going down past the Max Hospital and the road was partially flooded because it had been raining. A car had stalled near the divider on the right of the road and there was a line of cars packed up behind it.
Chottu took the left lane and out of nowhere some dumbass decides to cut left, nicking the rear wheel. The bike skids a bit, but Chottu manages to bring it back under him.
Unfortunately we hit a patch of loose gravel, hidden under a puddle and we smash into the road at about 70kmph. My right knee takes the full weight of the bike as Chottu, with years of experience, manages to leap clear.
His first reaction as we fall down, is to get up with a "Teri maaaa ki" and swinging his helmet and using my head as support, picks himself up and lunges at the driver.
Chappie calms him down, saying he'll take us to hospital, but when we go to wash the blood off our hands, arms and knees, he's already a distant blinking tail-light.
We get back on the bike, the head light's all wonky and my knee is killing me, but we make it to some private nursing home in Panchsheel where they dig around in my knee with a bent needle and excavate bits of asphalt. Couldn't get one because it was too deep so its still hanging around in there.
Luckily the bottle of Monk didn't break. Didn't even crack. So after a round of tetanus shots each, a shot of painkillers each, we biked it back to Chottu's where Jas and the Padosan landed up to kill the bottle.

I think the only time I broke a bone was when I cracked a toe, kicking a flower pot for tripping me.


Blogger bohosyncratic said...

this one time self and cousin's family on a trip to ladakh had hired this sumo to go see the tibetan desert near china border .its 5000m above sea level and the army guys are still building proper roads over there and we have this lowsy real whoos driver who dont speak no hindi no english and grunts for an answer. so on our way back everyones chillin out sleepin in the sumo .. and suddenly the ass decides get off the road !! so we're rushing down the slope which is like super steep,with boulders.. there arent any trees that high. the aunt and cousin are screaming banshee style .. brother is laughing like crazy and my brain wasnt working .... somehow we get down to the main road and freakin guy says it was a short cut!!!

BTW can't believe u left the ramjas guys and stephen's chick right there??!

1:54 PM  
Blogger Pirate of the Arabian said...

Didn't leave them right there... Had to wait till they were all pulled out, and the ambulance arrived for first the cops wanted some sort of report ..
Those guys went back home since theu all lived around the Dhaula Kuan area...
Was easier for me to get to college than to go home since I lived in Gurgaon then...

2:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey Pirate of the Arabian...i was just reading your story about munakka and was wondering where i can buy it?? a chemist or what?

2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey where can i get munakka ?? email me at in Hyderabad

7:44 AM  
Blogger Bakhtawar said...

this is amazing. you remind me of the good old days! go publish your stories, it'll be a massive hit.

cheers to the day tripper!

11:51 AM  

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