Monday, May 29, 2006

Random again

Homosexuality and the urban Indian man

I know this is not something new, just something I noticed this past weekend.
Jas's birthday on Saturday so went deep into East Delhi across the river. What got me was that she called about 15 people...11 guys and the rest, women. Considering the 'chicks' were Jas, her sister Numnum, Ladoo and the Padosan, this was really a Zee Sports cockfest.
At about 3am, Jas, Numnum and Ladoo (Padosan had passed out), pushed off to the Ruddi-son for coffee, leaving all the guys sitting inside the bedroom (Because of the A/C).

One baldheaded chap had passed out on the bed, and W takes his phone and passes it around. Apparantly the guy had shot some home made gay porn of his own and had been MMSing it to folks at work, some of whome were there as well.
I didn't know this.
So when W passes me the phone saying, "Check out this funny video," I really didn't expect to see the top of our man's shining head going down on a hairy dick with accompanying slurpy sounds.
That sort of thing that can really fuck your head, especially if you're drunk and stoned.

I'm not homophobic and I'm definitely not a prude... but that shit is just disgusting. Gay people who throw their sexuality in your face are just looking for attention and don't really care how they get it as long as people say SOMETHING.
Anyway, the phone gets passed around the room and some retard who turned out to be Jas's boss, launches into a debate about how 'unnatural' homosexuality is, bringing up topics like transvestites with a "Who's that guy yaar...Sylive? Woh bhi tho gay kuch hai".
He's a senior producer/ reporter or something in a sports news channel.
One uninformed, clueless conversation later, AIDS and anal sex are also brought up, with everyone voicing "ntelligent"opinions.
"A person's sexuality is his/her own, just like a person's life. If they don't have issues with the way they live, why do you?"
"AIDS is transferred when a guy fucks the other guy in the ass and blood comes out"
"If a woman fucks a gay guy, she won't get AIDS"
"If you suck a guy who has AIDS, you'll get it even if he doesn't come in your mouth"

Man.... just shut up and pass the damn joint..

"I luuuurrve Delhi!!!"

No, I don't. I think the city's too big, too crowded, too polluted, has too many beggars, too dirty, too full of nouvea-riche Punjus and Bihari immigrants, its too close to the Jats in Gurgaon, its too close to the goondas of UP, its too hot in the summer, its not cold enough in the winter...I can go on and on...

This past weekend I realised that people who say they luuuuurrvvee Delhi, don't know the city beyond South Delhi, Connaught Place as well as maybe the malls in Gurgaon and Elevate.

Ask anyone what they like about Delhi....
1. Shopping in Janpath
2. Ice cream in India Gate
3. Wide roads (where man??? only in South Delhi and Chanakyapuri) and then ....????

And anyone who says they love the charm of the Walled City has never been there. Jostling for space with 2 million rickshaws, countless people, the stenchm the sweat, the claustrphobia, the cloying odours of varied masalas and ittar, not to mention shit from overflowing drains and donkey-carts trying to run you over.
Said Society Auntie 1 to Society Auntie 2: Oooh dahling! I just luurve Chandni Chowk. It's so fabulous. I send my girl everytime I want to buy some more silver. Can't go myself of course, can't fit in a rickshaw." (insert fake laughter)...


Blogger bohosyncratic said...

whaa??? how can u not luuurve delhi ?? i am ditto on the feelings towards the punjus, the biharis, etc etc.. i mean until only recently they ensured that the only jigs we got in the city were mika's or daler mehni's . but delhi is way too much bigger than its ppl man . u sneeze and find somethin new and undiscovered here so much history scattered all over the place .. ppl take all of it for granted they think they know delhi by heart.
i mean chandni chowk is sooo not about silver and shaadi shoppin ...have u ever been to ghalib ka ghar over there ? its got this typical old delhi architecture style arched entrances ,open verandah n all yet u have to pinch urself just at the thought of it being ghalib's place .. and then u look over to the paan ki dukan accross the galli and the guy is unmoved...
aprt from history delhi has this amazin cultural air ,u go to the NSD area with the kamani,sri ram kala kendra , lalit kala all in the same radii bustlin with theatre activities just plain food for thought ...the jazz yatra , jahan-e-khusro,ihc, maurice nagar north campus area , the book worm at cp,places with wierd names
(barah tuti ,ccheh tuti,balli maran,pul bangash, andha mughal etc..).. luuurve all of it .and u bein a traveller n all should have loads of fun over here dude.
i been outa delhi quite a few times still this is the place where i wanna live . and apparently, i havent even seen the best part yet cause
1. i have never really been to south delhi 2. never have had ice cream at india gate 3. have shopped at janpath like twice

10:25 AM  
Blogger Anand said...

ummm dude, i lurrrveee delhi...
and i KNOW this city, man - and not just CP, South Delhi India Gate...

why don't you check out my blog...

Maybe you'll change your mind, too?

I even have a long post on Jangpura somewhere...

11:10 AM  
Blogger Monica said...

Hmmm. We need to talk about what it means to be homophobic or not when we meet next. Over a joint, or not.

Your account of the AIDS conversations amongst our elite + educated is truly, truly scary...

2:37 PM  

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